anxiety,
I walked into the building, it appeared similar to a large clinic, it was fairly clean with a small library area and table set up for children. There were magazines for adults and a few posters on the wall. One thing that did catch my attention, though, was the receptionists sat behind a glass window that only opened from one side (their side).
I don't know if it is because they are dealing with individuals and mental health and this serves as a layer of protection or if it's suppose to be a sound barrier, probably a bit of both.
I sat in the lobby a little longer than one would expect to for a doctor's appointment, in fact on the paperwork they gave, it gave clear instructions not to mention to the receptionist your wait time, until you have been waiting over an hour.
Eventually, a very husky woman with shoulder length hair came to the door (that was locked and could only be unlocked from her end) and loudly shouted my last name. That always seems so impersonal to me, her tone gave me the feeling I was just a number, no warmth in her voice at all. This of course, raised my anxiety substantially.
Who are these people? What are they going to do to me once I get behind this locked door? Why is she making me walk in front of her? Does she not trust me being behind? I don't trust her either...She really needs to wash her hair ...
We finally got to a door and she muttered "Go right in there."
In my head I'm like oh hell nah! I'm not turning that corner and walking in that room by myself. I don't know you MFer's. But I took a deep breath, manned up a bit a peeked into the room.
It appeared to be a typical office. Computer, phone, pictures of family on the desk. A degree in therapy on the wall, awarded to Leslie. So that's her name. I walked in and sat down.
The woman eventually joined me, my heart still beating pretty heavily. She took a seat and said "How are you? I apologize, it's been a crazy morning."
Of course my mind is like oh I bet that's a little therapist humor. "A crazy morning."......I know, I over think too much.
Leslie mentioned the notes that she had from my PCP and asked me what was going on. I was a little apprehensive at first, but she begin to talk and make me feel more at ease, eventually spilling the beans with tears freely flowing down my face. She didn't judge me, in fact she came across very relatable. Through my tears, she had me laughing and feeling a sense of normalcy, or at least less crazy than most people make me out to be.
The cold feelings, begin to fade and the warm fuzzies begin to blossom. My therapist shared her thoughts on having me get started on medication, but I counteracted her statement with "I really wanted to see what we could do without that for a while."
She was okay with giving it a try. But she mentioned that she still put it down as one of our goals to work towards. Her report would be good for 6 months, so we can work together for that time frame and see where we are closer to then.
The plan was for me to come see her every other week and she would be offering me activities to work on, most of them from home. We went over her guidelines as far as things being confidential with the exception of me expressing that I was a danger to myself or others, then she would have to intervene.
We talked about what would occur at my next appointment (She had some videos she wanted to share with me, with some strategies to work on). I was given her business card and made aware the hours /days she would be available.
We scheduled two future appointments and I was out the door. No harm, no foul.
Definitely no where near as bad as I thought it would be.
First Behavior Appointment
It's been a while, but in a previous post I promised I would share my first behavioral appointment with you. Here's how it went:I walked into the building, it appeared similar to a large clinic, it was fairly clean with a small library area and table set up for children. There were magazines for adults and a few posters on the wall. One thing that did catch my attention, though, was the receptionists sat behind a glass window that only opened from one side (their side).
I don't know if it is because they are dealing with individuals and mental health and this serves as a layer of protection or if it's suppose to be a sound barrier, probably a bit of both.
I sat in the lobby a little longer than one would expect to for a doctor's appointment, in fact on the paperwork they gave, it gave clear instructions not to mention to the receptionist your wait time, until you have been waiting over an hour.
Eventually, a very husky woman with shoulder length hair came to the door (that was locked and could only be unlocked from her end) and loudly shouted my last name. That always seems so impersonal to me, her tone gave me the feeling I was just a number, no warmth in her voice at all. This of course, raised my anxiety substantially.
Who are these people? What are they going to do to me once I get behind this locked door? Why is she making me walk in front of her? Does she not trust me being behind? I don't trust her either...She really needs to wash her hair ...
We finally got to a door and she muttered "Go right in there."
In my head I'm like oh hell nah! I'm not turning that corner and walking in that room by myself. I don't know you MFer's. But I took a deep breath, manned up a bit a peeked into the room.
It appeared to be a typical office. Computer, phone, pictures of family on the desk. A degree in therapy on the wall, awarded to Leslie. So that's her name. I walked in and sat down.
The woman eventually joined me, my heart still beating pretty heavily. She took a seat and said "How are you? I apologize, it's been a crazy morning."
Of course my mind is like oh I bet that's a little therapist humor. "A crazy morning."......I know, I over think too much.
Leslie mentioned the notes that she had from my PCP and asked me what was going on. I was a little apprehensive at first, but she begin to talk and make me feel more at ease, eventually spilling the beans with tears freely flowing down my face. She didn't judge me, in fact she came across very relatable. Through my tears, she had me laughing and feeling a sense of normalcy, or at least less crazy than most people make me out to be.
The cold feelings, begin to fade and the warm fuzzies begin to blossom. My therapist shared her thoughts on having me get started on medication, but I counteracted her statement with "I really wanted to see what we could do without that for a while."
She was okay with giving it a try. But she mentioned that she still put it down as one of our goals to work towards. Her report would be good for 6 months, so we can work together for that time frame and see where we are closer to then.
The plan was for me to come see her every other week and she would be offering me activities to work on, most of them from home. We went over her guidelines as far as things being confidential with the exception of me expressing that I was a danger to myself or others, then she would have to intervene.
We talked about what would occur at my next appointment (She had some videos she wanted to share with me, with some strategies to work on). I was given her business card and made aware the hours /days she would be available.
We scheduled two future appointments and I was out the door. No harm, no foul.
Definitely no where near as bad as I thought it would be.
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