Color Me Kris: autism spectrum disorder

Showing posts with label autism spectrum disorder. Show all posts

"I HOPE YOU HAVE 7 YEARS OF BAD LUCK!!" ....these blood boiling words screamed from my 11 year old daughter's mouth. Just seconds after witnessing her 5-year-old brother dash into her room, grab her favorite hand held mirror, and stomp it into pieces.

She dropped to her knees in tears, covering her face helplessly. I took my son by the hand and briskly walked him into my bedroom. I kneeled down to his level, gently placed my hands on his arms. "Krisjon, why did you do that?!" "Why did you break Laila's mirror?" He hung his head low and mumbled "Laila broke my Peanut butter sandwich".

I looked in awe. Remembering the incident that occurred earlier. Krisjon had asked me to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. At the time I was tied up, trying to get the trash pulled to the curb before the garbage truck arrived.

My 6th grader over heard our conversation and said "Mom, I'll make it."
Everyone in the home knows Krisjon has his quirks about food and how it's prepared, but its pretty routine and we're all fairly comfortable making it.

Laila squeezed the perfect amount of jelly (too much and you risk getting it on his hands), she spread the proper amount of peanut butter (too little and he will call you out on it), and an additional dollop of butter on the spoon as a treat.

Something went wrong.
Horribly wrong.

Something Laila was not aware of. At some point during the sandwich making process the bread got a crack in it. I being his daily cook, was mindful of previous bread break drama but in recent months had become a PB&J master chef.

If I noticed imperfection in a bread slice I would quickly hit it out of the ball park. (Now you know what the baseball bat was for in that peanut butter and jelly song). (Whoever wrote it must have had a child on the spectrum).

I recall Krisjon mumbling something about his food, taking a bite and throwing it away. I didn't think much about it, as he tends to trash food often. He usually will cry out or make a huge fuss about it, but I was thinking, well he is getting a little older and may be handling things a little better.

What I now know is his handling was not necessarily better, but different. Instead of having a meltdown he chose an "eye for an eye" sort of approach.

To many of us a favorite personal item such as a beautiful handheld mirror and a crack in a PB&J sandwich may not seem equal, but to my child with ASD it seemed appropriate.

I talked to him about it. I stressed that it wasn't nice and that Laila didn't mean to make him a sandwich with a break in the bread. I talk to him about how special the mirror was to her and also how he could have injured himself by breaking it.

We are currently addressing some issues with his aggression and communication but I will save that for another post.

I hugged and apologized to my daughter. I explained to her how much I appreciate her and how sorry I was that this happened. I also knew that nothing would replace that particular mirror, but vowed we would find her a similar one.

Does your child have any food rituals? Leave a comment and share, I'd love to hear about them.

Remember a few weeks ago when I told you about the bus change? Well that night I talk to my son about it. I know he has difficulties with handling change, so I find it important to keep him in the know.

When I talk to him about his new bus schedule, I tried to explain that he would be getting home later. He started going to a mini meltdown. After, I got him semi calm, I asked, what are you having a hard time with?

My thoughts initially were that he knew what I was saying and was not happy with the fact that he would be on the bus for an extended amount of time.
There was actually a miscommunication. What he was battling with is the word "later". He yelled "I know what later means! It means tomorrow and that means I won't get home until tomorrow!!"

So what he was thinking was he would leave school at 2:45pm and he would not see his family, eat dinner, or anything until the next day. Wow. That would make anyone feel slighted wouldn't it?

He has interpreted "later" as a synonym for "tomorrow" because often times, if I say "Jon, we will do it later". It ends up being the next day, or perhaps even the weekend.

I managed to find better words so that he understood that I was just saying the other children would be dropped off first.
He got pretty upset and screamed and stomped to get his frustrations out.

At least this time, I knew it was for the right reason. :)

More ASD Communication Tips:

One of the key characteristics of autism is sensory sensitivities. Krisjon (Jon) has always had challenges with shoes. Most of the quality shoe brands tend to be a bit heavy for his liking. Also, he's in first grade this year and many of the children his age are tying their own laces. His fraternal twin brother being one of them.

It was a bit disheartening his kindergarten year, watching the frustration on his face, as a few of the children were tying shoes even at this age. He became completely discouraged at times. I tried double knotting the laces before he left in the mornings, but for some reason it didn't seem to hold up throughout the day.

Jon would come home often, with his shoe laces dangling, because his teacher would tell him, she doesn't tie shoes (thanks for nothing). There was a sweet little girl who told him not to worry, if his shoes need a bow, she would help him, and she always did. Thank you precious Ivy.

It's the beginning of another school year and we are still working on getting the hang of shoe laces, but I wanted to find shoes a bit more suitable for my baby this year.

My first thought was to simply tuck his laces, but I knew that wouldn't work, because the strings in the shoe would bother him. The shoe lace holders, are a bit toddler-ish and I don't like to single him out unnecessarily. I thought about shoes with the Velcro straps, but let's face it, they're just not that fashionable.

As I continued my quest for the perfect shoe, I came across a pair of black shoes, they were sturdy but lightweight. They were naturally wide, given extra wiggle room. The laces were short and knotted at the end. Oh my gosh, they were made to wear untied and they are hella cute!

Converse All Stars you're a life saver! My baby is stylish this year and has his confidence back.

Autism and shoes you've been mommy hacked!

My children attend a school that houses PreK-12th grade. Something I was very weary about when we first moved to the area. Every child, no matter the age group, all ride the same bus. Scary when you're the one with babies right? Shon, (one of my 1st graders) and Laila (my 8th grader) both ride this bus. Thankfully Laila is a bit older and so I just have her sit with, or at least keep an eye on her brother on the bus. His mouth sometimes gets him in trouble, but for the most part we've had no problems.

Jon, my first grader with autism however, has extremely sensitive ears. With the noise levels on a typical school bus (along with other social concerns), we deemed it best, that he rides in a more private setting, with fewer children.

{By the way if you didn't get a chance to grab the SN acronym cheat sheet garb it here}.

This will be his 3rd school year on the private bus. This morning the driver just announced he will be shifting the schedule around a bit. Jon normally boards the bus at 7:10 in the mornings and arrives home around 3:05 in the afternoon. I was told the new schedule will have him boarding at 6:30am and arriving home at 3:45 in the afternoon. That's a 40min difference both ways!

As a mommy, I was a bit concerned and gave the drivers aid (his wife) a call to figure out what's going on. They are an older couple, he is a retired firefighter, and she a special needs caregiver most of her life.

Mrs. Pam (the bus aid), mentioned that this year, they were given 3 new students (for a total of 5). One of the newer students is extremely loud (one his personal sensory quirks), resulting in Jon and other students facing difficulties on the bus.

The change would be so that they could pick up this child last in the mornings, offering a more pleasant environment for the other students, and then drop him off first in the afternoons, again so it will be a better situation for all.

The current route entails my son being picked up last and dropped off first, therefore spending only 15mins each way on the bus. I had no idea other children were on the bus for a whole hour. Jon, doesn't fair well on long car rides (and by long I mean anything more than 15-20mins) so I am hoping this does not discourage him in anyway.

I'm wondering if it would be a better idea to get him some noise reducing headphones for the bus. I'm not so sure this 45mins each way is going to be the solution, all we can do is try it and see.

What's your take on this?

If you are just embarking on your journey of having a child with special needs, you may quickly learn that this adventure comes equipped with its very own language. Like any foreign language it can become quite overwhelming. Have no fear my dear, Kris has got you covered! I've created this acronym list just for you. It is a PDF so you can use it to refer to or print it out to have on hand.

Ok girlies on the spectrum (a family of course) as I promised, these are for you!
They are 300 dpi PNG format and can be used on projects such as scrapbooking, invites, cards, websites etc.

P.S. If you missed the boys version they can be found here.

A collection of resources that proved helpful when our child was first diagnosed. Each opens in a new window so feel free to click on as many as you need.

Autism Support Groups

MD Junction
Great site for asking questions and getting answers. Also an awesome support group for people who are facing similar experiences. You are also able to create your own diary which is a really nice feature. The diary can be public or private.

My Autism Team
Great way to build a team of support

Teaching
Educate Autism
Lots of free printables (body parts, emotions, colors, shapes and more!)

Picto-Selector
Great resource for PECS (picture exchange cards) FREE!

File Folder Heaven
Some nice freebies.

Tools for Educators
Lots of tools for teachers such making cross word puzzles, word searches and more!

Timer Countdown
FREE timer (Choose your own time and create) Good for cooking, quizzes, quiet time and more!

TEACCH
Help teaching children with autism. Courses available.
Coloring Printables
100's of FREE coloring pages

Safety/Awareness
ID CARD
A great source to create an ID card with contact information or awareness info
customizable and printable. Also good for teacher field trips etc.

Informative
Autism Speaks

Download the FREE first 100 days package. Helpful resource for newly diagnosed children.

Autism Research Institute
up to date research information.
Autism Web
information for families.
Autism Link
information and a store to purchase autism awareness items.
Dr. Temple Grandin
A doctor on the spectrum. She shares some very helpful tips for individuals on the spectrum, and also gives insight to what's its like being on the spectrum.

Video quick tips for autism support.

Looking for a specific tip? Hover over the top left corner and click the drop down button on the playlist to reveal topics. (Click on the tip you would like to watch)

We've known our son was exceptional since he was about 18 months old. He had many interesting and quirky ways about him. One of the things that stood out was he seemed to have no desire to interact with anyone who was not in our immediate family. This included aunts, uncles, cousins and even grandma (yep). His twin brother was a social butterfly, leading family members to perceive him (Krisjon) as the "mean twin", or "the one that doesn't like anybody".

As the boys continued to grow, their personalities couldn't be more distinctive. My roots as an early childhood professional have always encouraged me to embrace individualism. That being said, I was never concerned that one of ours sons enjoyed traditional toys and the other preferred manipulative style items such as empty bottles, string, tape etc. I viewed it as unique and creative!

What did begin to peak my interest was the social aspect of things. Krisjon did not seem to understand personal boundaries (ex: If I held him he would often slap my cheeks with both hands very hard or head butt me in the stomach not comprehending how much it hurts). He still, now at the age of 3, was extremely reserved about interacting with others. He was often frustrated with fine motor activities and was extremely active (running back and forth through the house, spinning in circles, screaming, and jumping off beds).

Our initial suspicion was we may have Attention Deficit (ADHD is in the family). After learning a little more about ASD, my partner and I briefly discussed this as possibility as well. We voiced our developmental concerns to our pediatrician. After a few observations and a visit to a child specialist, Krisjon was diagnosed with autism spectrum at the age of 4.

As a family we are now focusing on learning all we can about autism, and how we can assist/support our child. We have our good days and our not so pleasant ones but we always make it through. We are currently working with our son on his aggression towards others and trying to help him connecting with other children. We are also focusing milestones relevant to starting school.

We waited in the school hallway on a chestnut wooden bench with decorative arm rests.

There was a television mounted to the wall in front of us, a perfect way to keep the boys attention, being we arrived 20mins early.

I briefed Krisjon about what we were going to do (simply telling him we are here to talk to a lady and mommy will talk to her a lot, but I would like him to talk to her as well). He gave an anxious look. I slipped a purple lollipop in his pocket and he smiled, I said "This will be here so if you try your hardest to be a big boy, when we leave, you can have it. He agreed.

Promptly as the clock stroked 1:45pm we noticed a small framed woman walking down the hall. She had her arms crossed initially but as she got closer begin to smile and ask if anyone by the name of Krisjon was here. I politely smiled back and said yes. We introduced ourselves to one another. Krisjon quickly filled with anxiety and starting swinging at me. I picked him up so we could follow Ms. R down the hallway. Krisjon smacked my cheeks really hard and started warping into some sort of heavy snake in my arms. Kenya and Krishon quietly witnessed this, as they followed close behind. The school psychologist, led us to a room with 3 additional specialist. The room was small and quite stuffy, there was an over sized wooden table where the trio was sitting, all their laptops strategically placed in front of them.  As I walked through to take my seat I noticed the floor could use some attention. The atmosphere was intimidating at first, but they quickly made us feel at ease.

I instinctively pulled a chair at the table where the school representatives were sitting and though there was another vacant seat, Kenya chose one away from the table. I introduced myself to everyone and turned to introduce Kenya. I let them know that she actually was the one who carried the boys, and I invited her to the table. I'm not sure why she didn't choose sit there initially, but I really wanted her to get the full experience.

If only you could have seen the looks on the specialist faces...priceless. All their jaws were hanging like really...She gave birth to them? Why do they favor you? But you seem to know so much and be so comfortable? Why didn't she sit at the table immediately?  Yes, their expressions said all of that.

As we preceded, I opened my notebook and wrote down the names and titles of every one in the room. I then waited for the next cue.

Some how a sense of calm had come over my sweet boy. He ceased the squirming and fighting and just kind of relaxed and took it all in. His eyes had zeroed in on the toys in the corner near the window. A woman in a brightly colored floral dress smiled and in an inviting tone asked if he would like to come and play. He softly spoke "yes." I was so impressed.

I stood and helped him from behind the table making sure he didn't loose his balance over my purse or his other mama's feet. As Krisjon reached clear ground I let go of his hand and he made his way over near the window, where the toys and speech pathologist were waiting. He seemed a bit timid but was okay.

I took my seat and begin to get further acquainted with the all women panel.  The woman seated at the end of the table, closest to me, began talking first. She seemed the most relaxed of the group wearing a gray hooded sweat shirt and occasionally cracking male bashing jokes.

She introduced herself as Ms. M, the school's Special Education specialist. She mentioned she also had a family member on the spectrum. Ms. M talked about how unique everyone with autism is and that her loved one was a genius when it came to numbers but suffered dramatically if he were asked to write a letter or read a passage from a book. Continuing to talk openly, the education specialist told us she had been in Virginia since 1985 and would love to go back to her home state of South Carolina.

Ms. R, who was seated directly in front of me, and to the opposite side of Ms. M naturally picked up the social cue to begin to speak next. She brought up her brother and a cousin who were both on the spectrum, her brother not being vocal. The psychologist gave a soft smile and flashed her thumb to reveal a silver ring designed in puzzle pieces, the symbol of autism awareness. A smiled and gave a tiny enthusiastic hand clap, wishing my awareness items had of arrived by now, so I too could show off my awareness goodies.

Ms. R, honestly made me the most comfortable, not only because she had her own emotional attachments and experiences with the spectrum but because of her sweet soft demeanor. She was conservatively dressed in neutral tones though her eyes were slightly glassy. I couldn't figure out if she was becoming emotional from our conversation or if it was her standard look.

As her words begin to cease, I peered over at a very young woman with flipped up hair and over glossy lips. She wore glasses that gave her a more educated mature persona. She seemed to stand out amongst the older more sophisticated group. She parted her lips and said "I'm Ms. B, the school social worker."

After a short awkward silence, the school education specialist quickly picked up again. She asked what was going on. We discussed with the team the behaviors we were seeing at home and gave a little background information such as who lives in our home, his doctors name and the date he officially diagnosed. They made a copy of the diagnosis (that I bought with me from the doctor) and continued to open up about certain behaviors and asked if Shon (Krisjon's twin) was exhibiting any of the behaviors as well.

Eventually Ms. W, the speech pathologist joined us back at the table (Krisjon wanted to continue to play). They looked at one another and Ms. M asked everyone on for personal opinions as to if further evaluation was needed.

The speech pathologist spoke first. She was hesitant, but mentioned because of the behaviors we were seeing at home, she thought it was a good idea. She offered her insight on what she gathered from observing and interacting with him while we were in our meeting. Ms. Washington said she was very impressed with his language skills and the fact that he knows all his colors, the names of objects; and if she asked him a question, he answered it appropriately.

The remaining specialist unanimously agreed that further evaluation should be done, just to be certain. This would help figure out the appropriate classroom placement.

So what happens now is we have to set appointments with each specialist (or someone from their office) individually.

The social worker needs more detailed background information.

The education specialist needs to assess him academically.

The psychologist needs to assess the way he thinks and processes.

The speech therapist needs to further evaluate his communication skills.

The speech pathologist and the education specialist agreed to do their evals together, they scheduled the appointment a little further out (March 18th) because the education specialist is having surgery. She did mention however that she hopes to be back then, but if she is not she will just call to set up her eval at a later date.